Undecided

i told three people that i was going to kill myself. that i had the pills in my hand and the glass of water right in front of me.

my best friend who i was secretly in love with, begged me not to.

my sister panicked and said she was coming home from work that instant.

and you, the first man i ever loved, still a very good friend at the time, well..
you laughed at me.
you laughed at me and you sarcastically wished me luck, while all of my insides were screaming and aching from every time i begged you not to kill yourself. every night i got no sleep because i was convincing you living was worth it.

i talked you down from your cliffs.


and you told me to jump.

— dark days still linger in my mind. (via littlelonelilyx)